You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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