Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
