i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
this will be a night to untag.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
