I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
