Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
