While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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