he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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