just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize