Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
