If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
