I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
