those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
