I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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