he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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