I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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