I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
