I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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