He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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