I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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