Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
