make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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