its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
