so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
