my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
