Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
