drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
