i was born a porn star she said
i just had sex bonerless
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize