And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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