I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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