i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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