That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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