Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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