Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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