But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize