I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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