How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
