eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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