dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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