Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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