AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
