I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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