i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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