i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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