Ambien. No doubt about it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
