Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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