this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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