and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
