He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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