yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
