omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
