I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
