Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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