He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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