She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
