He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
