it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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