curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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