Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize