Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
