just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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