11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
