i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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