my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
