I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
