forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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