It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
