At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
