You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
