I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
