Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
